NLP: structuring goals

Conditions are significant to ensure our goal is measurable, realistic and motivating. To progress with our results, we must ask ourselves nine known as "well-formed conditions". Here they are below:

1) Positive: What do you want?

The goals must be positive. It is not possible to form a negative goal. You can't want what you don't wish to; you can only want what you want. Knowing that a positive plan has nothing to do with the positivity of thought is important. The positive goal is essential to direct yourself toward what you want and not towards what you do not wish to. So, the right question is:

"What do I want?" and not "what don't I want?"

Re-phrasing the questions to get positive answers is essential. For example, "quit smoking" is negative wording. On the contrary, breathing well, feeling the scents, playing sports with energy, and leading a healthy life: are positive affirmations. So to know what we want, we have to ask ourselves: "what do we want?". We need to make sure the answer is positive. So, we want to avoid what we want to achieve.

2) Trials: How Do You Know You Are Succeeding?

Along the way, it is essential to know if we are progressing in the right direction. We have to understand if we are on the imagined path and if we are getting our results. Two crucial questions are:

"How do I know I'm heading in the right direction? How can I measure it?"

To answer these questions, we need feedback. This is given by the physical sensations (sight, hearing, sensations); they must be the compass for our direction. Also, people's response to our project is a crucial element.

3) Specific: where, when and with whom?

Establishing a goal must be clear, specific, achievable and practicable.

Knowing "where" we want to pursue our goal helps us achieve the final result. One place is better than another. The place to accomplish a goal can significantly simplify its achievement.

When to act and conclude can improve our productivity-setting a date to achieve certain goal speeds up unconscious and conscious processes. We create internal pressure that pushes us to reduce the time and to act to finish on time.

Specifically: "with whom, where, and when do I want to reach my goal?"

People are essential for any purpose. To achieve goals, you need people's support; they cannot be achieved without the help of other people; this means in all aspects of our life: for the community's wellbeing, spiritual growth, intimate relationship or materialistic factor. For example, teachers and monks live together in Buddhist monasteries; this helps them to support each other and to stimulate meditation practice. A monk on his own won't be able to meditate 10 hours a day, but the group help each one to get up in the morning and remain still during the meditation.

4) Resources: What Do I Need?

People, objects, role models, personal qualities and money.

These are the five essential resources. Not all of them are essential, but all of them are very important. Objects to achieve the goal. People to help the project or to benefit from it. Behaviour models to be modelled, people who have completed the same purpose or have reached another plan with the same strategy; personal qualities as characteristics that give uniqueness to a project.

5) Control: Can you keep control over your project?

Taking a path produces forces and unexpected events that oppose it; we must know if they can be controlled and overcome. Some situations are uncontrollable. For example, a person's behaviour can be unpredictable, primarily if that person has only been known for a short time. Establishing our project with a stranger could be harmful and unrecoverable but often unavoidable. That's why contracts between people serve to balance and reassure the contractors.

6) Ecology: What are the consequences of our choice?

In the previous post, this topic has been extensively covered. "How long will it take to reach the goal?" is a question that feeds an initial ecological reflection. Will investing a lot of time in this leave aside other important aspects of our life?

"Which people will be affected, and how will they feel?" The ethical element of a path is indispensable for us. We cannot take an approach that induces the suffering of others, from the people closest to us to the furthest away.

"What will you have to give up to achieve this result?". The days consist of 24 hours. When we decide to do one thing, we must give up something else and make sure that that thing is not essential to ourselves and our health.

7) Identity: Does this result harmonize with who you are?

As we have seen in other articles, identity is formed by values, convictions and beliefs. When deciding the direction to take, we must harmonize our project with our values ​​and beliefs. Otherwise, there is a risk of self-sabotage.

"Who am I? What are my values ​​and my beliefs? "

Aligning values, beliefs and convictions with our goal is essential.

8) Adaptation: How do the results fit?

If the goal is too big, how can I develop it in small parts? You don't write a book in an hour but only one word at a time.

What is stopping me from reaching the goal?

If the goal is too small, we must remember why we act. Motivations are the fuel of our engine. The more motivations we have, the more it will be possible for our dream to come true.

9) Action: What to do next?

Good! once you get here, you can leave. The first step is always the most fun.

"In twenty years, you will be more bothered by the things you have not done than by those you have done. So drop your moorings, get out of the safe harbour and let the wind blow your sails. Explore. Dream. You discover."

(Mark Twain)